If I saw you on TV
With your hair in a bun
Pushing laundry detergent
Like being a slave is fun
If I saw you on TV
With curlers in you hair
Shaving your panty line for the plumber
With new and improved Nair
Where your husbands welcome home hug
Acts like an illicit opiatic drug
You are the moon setting on
The sidewalk sitting on
The street that's sleeping on
The earth that's supported on
The laws of physics resting on
The genius of the men that turned on
The collective smarts of mankind on
The amazing laws of the universe on
The greatest television show on
The biggest tv screen that's on
The wildest show of all
The wildest show of all
If I saw you in a movie
Arms and legs so blurry
Hard to capture on film
The dizzying beauty of your silent ninjitsu fury
If I saw you in a movie
Dancing with all the actors
Hard to make art a science
There's so many factors
I'd holster up my universal remote
Leave my lazy leather chair behind
Grab a can of cheap assed light beer
Saddle up my horse and ride